Answer’s pretty clear (at least, it is if you’re a guy at Utah State University’s library): Because we’re men, and we have those feelings.
This clears up why all my very-close straight guy friends from college dropped off the face of the earth once they got married.
Do you think men and women can be friends? Does a bit of attraction get in the way of friendship, or does it enhance it?
P.S. Why didn’t I go to Utah State??
Well, there are different levels of friendship, so maybe, and in some cases like professional relationships, or as a short term sort of thing. As far as being “besties” and hanging out socially all the time like good friends do, probably not unless one of them is gay. It’ll always cause some sort of issue eventually, either between the two of them, or one of their significant others won’t like it.
I think you’re right that being “besties” will often cause a problem, somewhere down the line, even if it’s just gossip. A male and female teacher (both married, not to each other) at my high school hung out together all the time, and there was loads of speculation, not just among the students. But I’m not sure whether that should be the case with partners. Isn’t there trust?
Oh definitely! This is just one of those things that should work–in theory. But, the fact is that men and women, or I guess two lesbian women or two gay men, who hang out like that do cross the line so often. Hey, it happens…life is hard, and relationships are harder. It is sooo easy for even the most pious person to be tempted to fall into something with someone they FEEL so close to, who has none of the issues and baggage that their real life partner comes with (seemingly). Of course, they almost always find, when they really do jump into THAT relationship, that person brings with them just as many headaches and hassles. But, I guess the realities of all that make it near impossible for two people who really do just want to be friends to do so with no intense scrutiny or allegations of misconduct from their peers and colleagues. And, let’s face it…physical/chemical attraction is a very strong drive for humans. If you already like someone as a person, how could you just shut that off completely?
Absolutely, men and women can have a platonic relationship… so long as neither feels attracted to the other.
Attracted, or sexually attracted? I find I’m attracted to all my friends (watch out, Moriah) – but that doesn’t mean I have the urge to make out with them.